1. Eliminate referring to the other parent as “my-Ex”; identify the other parent as ‘my child’s mother/father”

  2. Encourage good feelings in the children about the other parent and extended family members.

  3. Help the children to remember the other parent on special occasions.

  4. Communicate with the other parent openly, honestly and regularly to help avoid harmful misunderstandings about the children. The use of an online communication program is recommended.
  1. Plan with the other parent for time with the children in advance.

  2. Do not take sides or take issue with decisions or actions made by the other parent in front of the children.

  3. Have an agreement when handling disciplining the children.





  1. Refrain from fighting, arguing or degrading the other parent in front of the children or on social media.

  2. Do not withhold time with the other parent as a punishment to the children or the other parent.

  3. Each parent needs a consistent and predictable role in the child’s life to devote time to strengthening your relationship with your child.

  4. Use discretion as to the time and frequency of phone calls to the children.

  5. Except for emergencies, make changes in plans by mutual agreement, with advance notice to the other parent. Call ahead if unable to keep the pre-agreed time with the child.

  6. Be flexible in arranging dates and times with the children, so plans do not interfere with the other parent’s important family events or prior planned activities.

  7. Refrain from burdening the children with adult worries, whether financial, occupational or social.





  1. Allow a new relationship to mature prior to introduction of new relationships to the children.

  2. Realize that time with the children and financial support are two separate issues. Parents should not withhold the children from the other parent because child support has not been paid. Nor should parents refuse to pay child support if they are not spending time with the children.

casey how parents cooperate

How Parents Can Cooperate
is compiled from
"Parenting After Divorce"
by Philip M. Stahl, Ph.D.

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